The SAT, huh? Guess they didn't tell you...

about the JEFF-AT!!!

😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱

You know what school doesn't accept your SAT scores? The school of HARD KNOCKS!!! If you think I'm gonna let you off with just a national standardized test, you got another thing coming!!!

FIRST QUESTION:

That's right! No preamble, no pretense, just COLD! HARD! INQUISITION!

SIXTEEN HORSES STAND IN THEIR GATES.

In a heartbeat, the doors will fly open and their fates will be left to chance. EXCEPT THEY WON'T! Their fates were written in stone before they even arrived at the race track!

Let's meet the competitors, shall we?

WET SET OF STEPS will run at a speed of 30 meters per second with an acceleration of 0.6 meters per second².
RAMBUNCTIOUS MAMMALS will run at a speed of 50 meters per second with an acceleration of -0.2 meters per second².
REFLECTED CLOUDS will run at a speed of 40 meters per second with an acceleration of 1.0 meters per second², BUT will suffer a race-ending fall after 13 seconds.
CHERISHED RELICS will run at a speed of 2700 meters per minute with an acceleration of 60 meters per minute².
RO-TEL will run at a speed of 90 yards per second with an acceleration of 1.5 yards per second².
DINOSAUR BONE will run at a speed of 3 meters per second with an acceleration of 3.0 meters per second².
DELICIOUS COFFEE BREWED TO PERFECTION will run at a speed of 20 meters per second with an acceleration of 1.2 meters per second², AND will inexplicably appear at the three-quarter mile mark after 13 seconds, with speed and acceleration conserved. Judges will spend hours deliberating whether this had anything to do with REFLECTED CLOUDS' premature exit from the race.
WELL-KNOWN INDIVIDUAL will run at a speed of 100 meters per second with an acceleration of -8 meters per second².
BUSY THOROUGHFARE will run at a speed of 0.4 furlongs per second with an acceleration of 0.02 furlongs per second².
PLACID AMPHIBIAN will run at a speed of 40 meters per second with an acceleration of 0.5 meters per second ². HOWEVER, a model sportsman, PLACID AMPHIBIAN will always pull even with the lead horse and match their speed without passing them.
OBSOLETE DOCUMENT will run at a speed of 0.07 li per second with an acceleration of 0.002 li per second².
GASOLINE will run at a speed of 2 chains per second with an acceleration of 0.05 chains per second².
COLORFUL FLOWERS will run at a speed of 25 meters per second with an acceleration of 1.5 meters per second².
TOOLS OF THE TRADE will run at a speed of 35 meters per second with an acceleration of 3.5 meters per second², BUT its acceleration will decrease by 0.35 meters per second³.
A NOT PARTICULARLY WELCOMING SIGN will run at a speed of 2π meters per second and e meters per second².
AN ACTUAL HORSE will take a single step, and no more.

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH YOU?

You need to tell me, in photograph form, the first and last horses to reach the following points:

The quarter-mile mark
The half-mile mark
The one-mile mark

A horse's race ends when it crosses the finish line, the starting line, or fails to continue running.